We came really close to having a perfect Carnival. The krewes did their part (Zulu even ran a little ahead of time). The weather was great. The crowds were large. The parade quality was improved. Police and sanitation did their part. All it took was two miscreants with guns to put a pall on the event, but damnit, we cannot empower thugs to ruin something that is so grand and such a celebration of the city.

Congratulations to the police for apprehending them so quickly. Kudos to medical workers for dealing with the victims (thankfully no fatal injuries). Shame on the criminal justice system for allowing two guys with records to be on the streets unchecked, though there is new evidence of reform within the system.

We know that the solutions to crime are long-term, though that won’t help us for next Mardi Gras. But if we want to take a stand against the bad guys and to save our city, lets look hard at why guns are so easily available to those who are so willing to use them.

MOST IMPROVED PARADE
The Krewe of Pontchartrain provided proof that you do not have to be big and rich to have a good parade. It is more important to just do the little things right. The krewe had a parade with style and wit.

BLESS THEM FATHER
Archbishop Alfred Hughes has distinguished himself in one way compared to his predecessors. He is the first bishop to be satirized on Carnival floats. The church-closing controversy got the barb on two floats, one in the Ancient Druids parade and again with Chaos. A marching group in Le Krewe D’Etat also spoofed the church arrests. In the Quarter, there were several masked groups that carried the same theme.

BEST SUPER KREWE
As always, a toss-up. We’ll give the edge to Bacchus for its fanciful “Creatures of the Imagination” theme, but Endymion is looking a lot better and Orpheus remains as one of Carnival’s prettiest parades.

BEST WALKING GROUPS
Muses is like a grand meal made better with lots of great appetizers. No krewe has as good of a mix as Muses with its various groups including the Rolling Elvi, the Pussy Footers and the Lady Godivas. The groups are fun to look at without being distracted by a barrage of beads.

BEST SATIRICAL PARADE
Chaos had lots of good material but suffered from wagon breakdowns. (That is one of the problems with having three parades on one night. A delay in a parade effects the one behind it, though Chaos’ ancestry is one that certainly lays claim to the Thursday night slot).

Muses had a good idea with a James Bond theme (Muses 009, “License to Swill”) and I loved the theme float with the silhouette of a live gun toting Bond Woman.

I will give the edge to Le Krewe D’Etat for the quality of its design and the wickedness of its messages.

Add in the wit of the Krewe of Tucks and we are indeed in the golden age of satire.

BEST TRADITIONAL NIGHT PARADE
Proteus presented a pretty and elegant parade that was so old style that it even borrowed from its 1909 theme about Welsh Folk tales. The parade was a visual wonder for those who appreciate the early Carnival.

BEST TRADITIONAL DAY PARADE
Thoth is doing a great job, this year evoking a nautical theme. I give the nod to Zulu, however, for having an extremely colorful parade and for, (thank you, thank you) moving efficiently and on time. When parades move well they become more enjoyable for everyone involved.

CATEGORY OF ITS OWN
Mid-City continues to look spectacular with its unique style utilizing foil in a way no one else does. It is not the biggest or most opulent parade, but in its own way it is the prettiest.

A JOKE GONE LIMP
I have always been a big fan of Krewe du Vieux. It comes closest to depicting what the early carnival parades were like when they were smaller and moved through the French Quarter. Because it marches early in the Carnival season, it is not governed by the same laws that the other parades must follow, hence it gets to parade in the Marigny and the Quarter, where the audience is a bit more adult. I have no problems with biting satire and sexual suggestiveness. Both themes have long been a part of Carnival tracing back to its ancient roots, which include the Roman orgies. What I do object to is stale humor and that is what has happened to Krewe du Vieux, where penis depiction has been so common that it has long lost its shock value. The krewe is really a confederation with individual groups building their own floats, some of which are truly clever without relying on genitalia for a cheap laugh. Other groups need a shot of creative Viagra. I am still a fan of the krewe. Just show us something different.

BEST COSTUMED GROUPS MEANDERING THE QUARTER AND MARIGNY ON MARI GRAS
Here is where the real spirit of Carnival resides. Praise to:
• Society of St. Ann
• Ducks on Dixieland
• Mondo Kayo
• Cosmic Debris

BEST OVERALL PARADE
Rex remains best. No one does it better than the King of Carnival. The parade was well timed, smart and a visual wonder. Rex’s signature floats including the Boeuf Gras, the bandwagon and His Majesty’s throne float are among Carnival’s best. The sight of the Rex riding lieutenants in costumes of purple, green and gold is one of my favorites in all of Carnival. The theme, which celebrated spring, was joyful. Rex’s Web site, the best in Carnival, has become an educational tool for developing the theme. Rex does it right, presenting a parade fit for a king.

BEST DATE TO REMEMBER
FEB. 16
MARDI GRAS, 2010

Reprinted with permission of the author.

ERROL LABORDE’S BOOK, KREWE: THE EARLY NEW ORLEANS CARNIVAL- COMUS TO ZULU
Books are now available at most area book stores and can also be ordered via E- mail at gdkrewe@aol.com or (504- 895-2266)

WATCH INFORMED SOURCES, FRIDAYS AT 7PM, REPEATED AT 11:30 PM.WYES-TV, CH. 12. NOW ON WIST RADIO, 690 AM, THE ERROL LABORDE SHOW, 6PM FRIDAYS; 7AM SATURDAYS; 8AM and 5 PM SUNDAYS.

One hundred and fifty years earlier on that date the Mistick Krewe of Comus began its first parade from that corner. Comus would set the template from which the New Orleans Mardi Gras would evolve.

By 8:30 the maskers had set up a folding card table which would be topped by an ice chest preserving three bottle of champagne. The masks that concealed the five’s identity were of the type worn by Comus maskers during their ball, though no explanation was offered as to how the masks were secured for this event.

Champagne was flowing into the goblets by 8:45 in preparation for the official toasting which would take place a 9, the hour that the initial march was to begin.

Most of the young men who formed the first Comus procession lived or worked within the neighborhood of the parade’s origin. The very building alongside which the maskers toasted now houses a law office; a century and half earlier it had been the site of a cigar factory. Many of the structures that stand today stood then to echo the sounds of Carnival’s birth.

When the awaited hour arrived one of the maskers read a passage from Perry Young whose 1931 book told of the first movements:

“At 9’Clock, or thereabout, the glare of torchlights shattered the darkness of Magazine and Julia Streets, bands burst into symphony, and the Mistick Krewe stood revealed– a company of demons, rich and realistic; moving in a procession that seemed to blaze from some secret chamber of the earth.”

After the reading, the five maskers offered their official toast followed by an impromptu single file march half way down Julia and back, then more champagne.

Except for a van full of meter maids circling like vultures looking for a vehicle on which to attach a parking ticket no one paid much attention to the revelers. Beautiful people dressed elegantly for an event at the nearby Contemporary Art Center walked by as though five masked people drinking champagne in the warehouse district on the Saturday after Mardi Gras was normal. Finally one woman who approached to wait for a bus could not ignore event. Her drawl, however, revealed her as someone not from here and certainly not aware of the city’s idiosyncrasies.

Carnival’s rulers are masters at concocting pageantry and mystique if not at calculating anniversaries. A year earlier, in 2006, Comus’ 150th had been celebrated in some quarters though that would NOT have marked a true anniversary but rather  the 150th time that Comus would have paraded had it paraded uninterrupted through the decades which it has not. The Laws of Math however confirm that 150 years after 1857 is 2007. Obedient to such laws the five makers honored Comus and his legacy.

Their mission done the maskers folded the coffee table, lifted the ice chest and walked away. Left alone on the corner was the woman still awaiting the bus and the meter maids who were finding little prey. By 9:30 on this most special of evenings  the night had returned to normal The earth’s secret chamber was once again closed.

Reprinted with permission of the author.

In places where Carnival is not practiced, Twelfth Night is just another winter evening, but in New Orleans, the night is alive with subtle native rituals that are still spared the gaudiness and encroaching commercialism found as the season reaches its end on Mardi Gras. For almost a century and a half, The Twelfth Night Revelers have held their society ball on that evening, quietly and privately recognizing the season. On that same evening a group called the Phunny Phorty Phellows has, for the last two decades, taken to a streetcar. The banners tied to the side announce to the world, or at least to those waiting for a trolley that “It’s Carnival Time!” Watching for TV news coverage of the ride has become for some people the harbinger of the season.

As Carnival has grown and become marketed and manipulated, and in an age when positions on floats are promoted as visitor packages, much of the mystery, magic and spontaneity have been lost. But in the dawning hours of each Carnival season the spirit manifests itself.

For the last several years, the Phellows have experienced that spirit in terms of three to four mystery maskers who appear at the spot where their ride begins. The maskers wear full-face masks and overcoats. They carry signs with tongue- in- cheek messages about the Carnival season. None of the Phellows have been able to identify the maskers.

Once the streetcar leaves, the maskers disappear, only to reappear at different spots along the route.

Before Katrina interrupted the St. Charles route, the maskers’ final appearance was when the streetcar approached Gallier Hall. There they stopped the vehicle long enough for a quick toast and an exchange of gifts. After that they were gone- for another year. As one Phellow explains, “those maskers are one of the few things that are real and magic about Carnival. One year they won’t be there and we’re all going to feel pretty sad.”

With the St. Charles route still denied them, this year the vagabond Phellows will take an alternate route by loading on the streetcar at N. Carrollton by City Park and then going up Canal Street to the river and back.

Prior to the Phellows, not much, other than the private soiree of Twelfth Night Revelers, happened on January 6th. The Phellows have made the day more popular and brought publicity to the opening of the carnival season. There have since been many followers. This year, for example, the Kenner-based Krewe of Zeus will celebrate its 50th anniversary by staging a special Twelfth Night parade along Metairie Road. Because the evening will be on a Saturday, expect a lot more activity this year. But, give credit to the Phellows. They have been there regardless of anniversaries, days of the week, or weather conditions.

Carnival has suffered losses through the years, but a city with endangered tradition at least has more soul that a city with no traditions at all.

Among those traditions is the king cake. Carnival’s beginning, Twelfth Night, is a fixed date, but its ending, midnight on Mardi Gras, is movable. This year Mardi Gras is February 20, which means the season will last a little more than six weeks – that means a month and a half of being exposed to king cakes. The cakes tend to show up most everywhere during the season. Once they were baked so dry and undistinguished that they were easy to ignore; now they are injected with various flavors of globby stuff that make a bust out of New Years diet resolutions but that are nevertheless tempting.

Few confections are as rich in rituals as they are in calories. For the Twelfth Night Revelers (known simply as “TNR” to society insiders) slices from a mock king cake are served to the waiting debutantes. Each slice has a silver bean, except one, delivered to the girl who must feign surprise as the gold bean within is her sign that she is Queen.

For the Phellows, wobbling along on a streetcar, real king cakes are used to determine the royalty for that year. One year the Queen-select was so excited that, after the ride, she called her father long distance to announce the news. The last time the father had heard from the daughter was when she had called to complain that the pipes in her home had been broken by a recent freeze. On this evening of Twelfth Night the old man, not used to the ways of New Orleans, seemed confused by his daughter’s announcement. “Oh, so you’re clean?” he replied. “No,” the daughter replied, “I didn’t say I’m clean, I said I’m Queen.”

Pity those places where on January 6, it is more important to be clean than to be Queen. In New Orleans we know better.

Reprinted with permission of the author.